Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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