Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There r osticjed everywhere
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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