Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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