In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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