I wanna passion pit in your ass
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
