Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
