I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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