I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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