You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
