Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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