the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
