guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
