We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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