Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
