I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
