You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize