She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
