Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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