I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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