oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
