Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
