If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
