just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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