you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
