i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
