Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
