Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
