So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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