found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize