Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
soo... how was my night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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