My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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