I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
