he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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