where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
