Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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