you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
