Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
