Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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