You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
