I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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