Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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