is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
