I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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