bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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