sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
