i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
