dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
