I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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