yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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