I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
