walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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