I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
