u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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