Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
