We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
