Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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