I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
