More tranny stories later!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
