Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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