she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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