just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need water and some morals
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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