Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
