This is not my ceiling
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
